This article discusses the techniques of Neuro Linguistic Programming NLP that can have the most impact on your business or professional life. These are skills that are taught in our NLP courses in Hyderabad.
1. RAPPORT
Rapport is a state that exists between two or more people that leads them to believe they are “on the same page”.
Rapport is essential in any business interaction. When individuals are in rapport it leads to mutual respect, and trust. When you have rapport:
• Clients will buy your products
• Subordinates will eagerly follow your directions
• Colleagues and superiors will respect your view
Many books offer techniques to build rapport, mainly around matching the posture or the other person (often called anchoring). While these techniques are valid, they run the danger of being artificial. The other person is likely to notice if you “try” to match them, and it is possible they will consider your behavior to be manipulative.
In fact, when rapport is natural, matching occurs as a matter of course. Look round the next time you are in a restaurant, coffee shop, bar or other public place. You will see groups of people all sitting or standing in a similar way, with similar posture and physiology.
What this means is that if we can find a way to get into natural rapport with the for example a client in a business interaction, everything else follows naturally. Neuro Linguistic Programming has a great technique for getting into rapport naturally:
• As you speak to the other person, soften your gaze, so you begin to notice your peripheral vision
• As you do so, you will begin to notice movement all around you
• As this skill builds, you will begin to notice the other persons breathing
• Begin to breathe at the same rate
As you breathe at the same rate as the other person, you will naturally attune to their movements, physiology, gestures etc. You will naturally begin to match these without thinking about them.
2. CALIBRATION SKILLS
Neuro linguistic programming teaches that each and every one of us has a unique and distinct “map of the world”. This map tells us how things are, how things work, and what rules apply in the world, for us. Each person’s map is different. Understanding this principle is vital in understanding our employees, business colleagues, customers and clients.
A map includes elements such as:
• Where does that person locate things in space? You can tell by where they look and where they gesture.
• What words are important to them?
• What values are important?
• What do they believe about themselves and the world?
• What patterns do they use in their behavior?
Calibration is all about respecting and being curious about the other persons map or the world, including the above elements. Calibration includes using our eyes and ears to notice:
• The words that the other person uses.
• The gestures that they use.
• The physiology that they adopt.
• Where their eyes move when they speak about various things.
• How do they organize time?
• What do they talk about as being important?
When we have this information, we can use it to influence the other person by pointing out the ways in which the thing that we want is aligned with what is important to them. Doing this in a way that uses their words, gestures and physiology will be extremely effective in being influential in business
3. ANCHORING
Anchoring is a neuro linguistic programming NLP technique that involves attaching a specific internal state to an external stimulus. Here are some common business examples:
• The boss who only wants to see you when there is a problem. Every time you see him you think “Here we go again”.
• The salesman who only calls to sell you something; “Tell him I’m busy”.
• The colleague who always whines about his life “Oh, Joe’s at it again”.
• The subordinate who comes round with problems for you to solve “Don’t I have enough to do!”
Here are some more business anchoring examples:
• The boss who walks round encouraging his employees “He’s great!”
• The salesman who calls to make sure the last thing you bought is working fine (and invite you to the golf outing) “Put him though!”
• The colleague who comes round to offer words of encouragement “Joe’s on vacation? How will I manage?”
• The subordinate who offers three solutions to every problem “That’s a great kid, we need to keep him!”
Be positive most of the time, and people will feel good when they see you coming.
There are times we need to deal with business customers, suppliers, and subordinates in a way that is less than positive. Make sure that this is done is a consistent way; ask to see them in the same place for each of these, or stand in the same place in your office, use the same tonality in your voice, the same expression. When you have done this a couple of times, you will find that all you need to do is stand in that place, or use that tone or expression. Words will be unnecessary.
4. BELIEFS
Henry Ford said it best: “Whether we believe we can, or we believe we can’t, we are probably right”.
Our beliefs deeply impact everything that we do. Those who believe they “can’t” do something don’t try, or if they do they set themselves up for failure. On the other hand, those who believe they “can” get right on and do it. Those who succeed in buisness or professional life have positive beliefs about themselves and the world.
Fortunately beliefs are ultimately under our own control. NLP gives us several tools and techniques for changing beliefs. Ultimately these involve changing our reference experiences, memories and the meaning we attach to those memories. When we are able to accept beliefs as what they are, i.e. our temporary and changeable view of how the world operates, then they become flexible, and become “useful” or not-useful” rather than “true” or “false”.
5. VALUES
People’s behaviors reflect those things that they value. A company or other business organization behaves as the sum of the individuals, and the organizational systems that make it up.
Neuro Linguistic Programming teaches the importance of values. Values are used in NLP to supply leverage to assist a client to change.
Therefore only by creating and holding individual values which advance the objectives of the business organization, will the behavior of the individual employees be aligned with corporate goals.
Values operate at every level of an organization:
• The business organization has a culture which includes certain corporate values
• Separate business lines or groups within the organization have values, which may or may not be aligned with the values of the organization
• Individuals within the organization have their own individual values
Be ensuring the that the business organization has clearly stated and ethical values, by which it actually operates, can it hope to have the values of the groups within the organization, and values of the individuals within the groups, aligned.
6. META MODEL
Neurolinguistic programming’s Meta Model is a tool to understand, on a deep level, what people are saying. It is extremely useful in business as well as in other areas of life.
Suppose Bob reports to you “All my projects are going well”. You might feel happy about the situation, and then be surprised a week later when a major client calls up complaining that he has not received the report your company promised him. You are blindsided and embarrassed.
Upon speaking to Bob, you may find, for example:
• He had forgotten you had assigned the project to him; or
• Although he knew the deadline the client had given, he actually knew the project would take two weeks more than that, and was pleasantly surprised that he was only one week behind schedule.
If you had used the meta model you might have asked:
• What projects in particular are going well?
• What does “going well” mean? Are they on time? On budget? Is the deliverable up to the standard the client is expecting?
Had you asked these question you might have avoided the embarrassing call with the client. The Meta Model provides a framework in business for becoming aware of where the gaps in your information are, and tools for filling in those gaps through questions.
7. PERCEPTUAL POSITIONS
Perceptual positions are a concept in Neuro Linguistic Programming that refers to the concept of “I”, “You”, “We”, “They” etc. These positions are vital for effective business decisions.
When we experience the world, we tend to do so from the position of “me” or “I”. What do I want? How will this affect me? While this is a perfectly valied way to see the world, it is not the only way. When we realize this and internalize this knowledge, then we can begin to gain further valuable information about the business issues and the world around us.
We can begin to ask questions like:
• What do I want out of this?
• What does my client want?
• What does my boss want? What do my colleagues want?
• What answer will best serve the interests of all the parties?
• How will this impact on the organization as a whole? How will it affect the relationship between the organization, its customers and suppliers?
• How will it affect investors, shareholders and lenders?
• How will this affect the wider system? The world?
• How will it affect all these parties tomorrow?
If all business decisions were made after considering all the possible perceptual positions, they would likely lead to better results and less disastrous decisions!
NLP offers systematic tools for considering a situation from multiple perspectives, and to do so in such a way that we truly experience the situation from thus other business perspectives.
8. STRATEGIES
In Neurolinguistic Programming, a “strategy” does not refer to a corporate plan, or financial structure, rather it refers to the way in which an individual does (or does not do) something..
Neuro Linguistic Programming states that we make decisions and undertake behaviors in a systematic way, which is to say that the we will be doing the same things within our mind each time we make a decision or undertake a behavior. This explains why people have the same problem all the time (or nearly all the time): they are always, or nearly always, late with their projects, or always early; they always get on well with clients, or always get on badly.
By studying the strategies of employees who out-perform, or underperform, their peers, we can identify what strategies work in the business, and which do not. This allows us to:
• Help underperforming employees to change their under-performing strategies; or
• Systematically teach the skills of business superstars to other employees.
Similarly, studying the strategies of clients, for example their buying strategy or their regret (or non-regret) strategy, we can increase sales and create loyal customers.
9. META PROGRAMS
Neuro Linguistic Programming teaches that each individual is unique and their world view, beliefs, values, memories, experiences, skills etc are unique.
The closest NLP gets to general classes of behavior is in the NLP concept of Meta Programs. Meta Programs are extremely useful in business because it offers a quick and easily applied tool for determining an individuals strengths and weaknesses, and how they will react in a given situation. In this sense it is similar to the Myers Briggs or similar tools used in business, for example in recruiting. The benefit of the Meta Program system is that it allows the information to be gathered in a purely conversational manner, using a relatively small number of simple questions.
10. COACHING PATTERN
Dealing with employees, suppliers, customers and other individuals in a business environment can be difficult precisely because they are individuals.. As a result they have good days and bad days, and if we have to deal with them on a bad day, watch out!
The neuro linguistic programming coaching pattern allows us to conversationally change a persons mood, and move them into exactly the resourceful state they need to have, exactly at the time that they need it.
The coaching model is one of the many patterns and techniques we teach on our NLP trainings here in Hyderabad.
About The Author
Psy.Visesh is a consulting psychologist and certified NLP Trainer from Hyderabad, India. Visesh practices privately in Hyderabad, where he employs NLP and cognitive behaviour therapy, to help people with psychological problems. Visesh has 10 years of training experience, delivering Neuro Linguistic Programming courses to his clients. You can contact him on dearvisesh@gmail.com or +91 94401 35779.
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